Ariadne's Thread

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I want someone to hear the music that I play every day

oh no it that feeling again driving me off every cliff in my heart

I don't want to be near you, for I will only dream of you more, and that will drive me insane

insane with a love that I may never own

it like looking in all the store windows and seeing all the wonderful candies and pretty dresses that this months pay check just won't pay for

I want to have you, but I am afraid

simply afraid

afraid of what I might become

I want someone to hear the music that I play every day, in the halls of my home, in the halls of my heart, I just want someone to hear me, again or for the first time

I can't do this again, not this cage, all this rage, its part of you, its a part of me, locking myself up into this prison, in these prison walls, I construct, resurrect, destroy, make me new

I won't let it happen again, if I try, will you just go away, but that would make me sad, never to see you again, if I had my way, you would just be sitting here with me now, as I write this down, you would be watching me, and I could turn to you and smile, but that would just be too easy, not real, wake up, forget her, move on

study, study, I just do it anyway I can, all I do, is to lock myself in these walls and forget about all the pain that has been dropped on my head, and I was though to be dead, but I am alive, a close call, but I try to forget, I am ashamed, why shouldn't I be, I let my defenses down to let another in and they tore me apart...why should I open myself up..only to have the door slammed on my face

I don't want to think about, you but every time I close my eyes, there you are, why..

I want someone to hear the music that I sing everyday, but I am afraid to let you in, any one in, its hard, being me, a man filled with so much love and so much hate-its a paradox, a conflict that is driving me off the edge...

If I knew how to ask you, then I would, I need to love, even though I don't know why-every time I have tried to love it has met with failure, and I don't want to let that happen again, not again..

it not there fault, its mine, I took them, those precious little girls, and thought that I could cage them up like a little bird, they didn't want that, they didn't want to be in my cage, but I didn't want to let them go, so they just began pecking away at my soul, until there just wasn't anything left, and I was gone, so far gone, I forgot my name, and destroyed everything around me, until I, they, never wanted me back....

girls think that I am something else, some god when they start to date me, then they find out I am mortal, and turn their back on me, I can't, if that will happen, I can't help the way I am, why should I, I like me, but no one seems to understand...I would give everything, but that's the problem I guess

I give everything to have you, and then you use that to your advantage, do this, so that, I will follow you off a cliff, to the end, then just let me fall, you'll survive, we were not friends anyway, you tell me that your love was all a lie, you were never my friend, I tried to explain that I lock people up, but you didn't listen, I wanted you to warn me, but you didn't listen, you just wanted to use me, like a new toy under the tree, I used you, my little pet, you used me, my little toy.. we used each other...

how do I tell another without making it sound to profound, how do I tell another without making them laugh, if I only knew, then I wouldn't be here, now would I...I guess not, so here I am again, alone, the word is synonymous with my fragile name...

I just want someone to hear the music in my heart, in my head, I am not perfect, so don't make me out to be, I can't do everything, so don't expect me to, I can't without you, I need you to sooth me, when my muscles ache from the strain of my religion, I need you when my world is filled with darkness, I need you, and I can't explain why, I just do.....

I don't know who to turn to, I have no friends that I can explain this to, so I turn to the darkness for answers, but in there I only find my shadow weeping, and not the friend I wanted, please lift me up, I will, if you will....

I don't what love is, so I can't say if I have ever loved, or ever will, only that when I dream, I dream of you, if that isn't love, I don't know what is

I am a man torn by the aliments of my past, torn by the spreads of indignity, torn by the thought of you...I don't know how to even ask you out, but I suppose its a start, I just hope you say yes,

I am a man, not a god, remember that, please, and I will not try to cage you up, please hear the music in my heart, in my soul, and I will forget everything that has happened, listen when I talk, and I will hear you every time you breathe...